Friends and Benefits

 Many years ago, whilst hitching from Antrim to Kerry, I got a lift in a little lorry, the sort of vehicle you'd hardly ever see now. The driver, a little man too, with a smiley, wrinkled face was kind and interesting to talk to. He told me he was 'on the dole'. I wondered then, why he was out driving a lorry.

"Ach," says he,

"The dole isn't bad but sure ye'd need a wee bit of a job as well."

I didn't judge him. All I knew was that I'd have been far too nervous to take the chance.

This other time I was in a courthouse waiting to give evidence on another matter and there was a man up before the magistrate for 'doing the double'. The chief witness against him was another man, employed by the government to go after these benefit cheats. I didn't like the look of the government man at all. He had a seedy, sleekit appearance and seemed ill-tempered. He testified that he had observed the accused leaving his house dressed in work clothes and that he had followed him to a building site whereupon the accused mounted a digger (backhoe) and proceeded to do a day's work without once leaving the machine to drink a cup of tea nor to answer a call of nature. He had photographic evidence of the man on the site digging away with his machine. The accused man's solicitor got up and said that the photographs were of no use at all as the windows of the machine were streaked with dirt and that there was no way that it could be proven that the machine driver was the same person as the accused. The magistrate agreed and the case was dismissed. The government man left the courthouse in a rage while the other fellow strolled out easily. No doubt, if he had been 'doing the double' he was also of the opinion that benefit income was OK as long as there was a little extra coming in.

Food Mixer

Nice work if you can get it as the saying goes. I don't disapprove for it was so long ago that it is practically history. Benefit cheats are far more frowned upon nowadays than in the past.

Ford Transit Omega Autosleeper

Yet, if money is tight there is another way of making life more enjoyable and so far it is perfectly legal. Nellybert would be very keen on an informal exchange system. We still buy and sell but often with friends we barter goods and services. Bert helps Clint on the farm, Clint returns the favour. I give a chap eggs, he gives us home made cakes and jam. Someone gives me an unwanted food mixer, he gets a jar of chilli jam. Before Christmas, we exchanged a leather sofa for a tree. Sometimes it balances out, sometimes it doesn't and that doesn't seem to matter.  We got a vintage camper van on Sunday (needs some work) in exchange for a bottle of white currant and raspberry wine and half a dozen banty eggs. Who needs government benefits with friends like that?

Leather Sofa

The Dole

Whenever I hear stories of benefit scroungers I am reminded of Nessie's story.

Nessie had a wee hill farm in the arse-end of nowhere. For years she and her long-term companion made a small, self-sufficient living from it. It was fairly hand-to-mouth but they didn't complain for they thought that was just how things were.

As the years passed Nessie. like all of us do, slowed down a bit. The house was basic, far too cold and damp if truth be known and it didn't help her that she had serious health problems caused by two accidents she'd had when she was younger. She was once gored by a cow and on another occasion run over by a trailer. It left her with kidney problems. Life became very hard. A kind neighbour seeing the pair of them struggling to make ends meet told her about income support, got the forms, filled them in for her and lo and behold! - Nessie got the dole.

She was delighted. They both were. And the pair of them lived happily on basic income support for one for many years.

Then her long-term companion hit the age of 65 and found himself entitled to the pension. Money of his own at last! He was delighted. After all these years, he too had a regular income. All was well until some sharp-eyed civil servant noticed that these two were receiving benefits at the same address.

To cut a long story short they prosecuted Nessie. She hadn't the sense to go to court and in her absence her benefits were slashed. Her partner wouldn't help. This was his money and he didn't intend to share it.

Months passed and Nessie became ill. She wasn't eating properly for she didn't have the money. It was at this stage that we found out what was going on. We brought her over here, sorted her out, warmed her, fed her and took her to the doctor. We got her a social worker. The social worker was wonderful. Found all sorts of new benefits for Nessie. She still had to pay back the huge over-payment but the new benefits brought her back to a basic level of income support and she'd proved she could live on that. Nessie never did return all the money she owed the government. She died long before it was paid.

I often think of her when I hear stories of benefit scroungers. I think of two elderly people managing on one benefit for years but because the 'i's weren't dotted and the 't's weren't crossed they were done for it.