Sunday, October 02, 2005

Small Steps

This evening I was looking at some pictures of myself taken in February this year. Oh dear. Was I ever a fat lump? Thankfully I’m not quite as roundy now as I was then.

And I’m not the only one who has been making an effort to reduce the tonnage. Dan Tobin (or his clothing) over at Surgical Strikes puts it rather well.

No longer a fatty-fatty-fat-fat, … still a fatty-fat-fat.

And so it is with myself. I’m a fatty-fat-fat moving towards being merely fatty-fat. It’s small steps people, small steps. But they’re rather brisk small steps and lots of them. That’s the way to do it.

6 comments:

Bliss said...

My suggestion - get really, really sick. ;) I've lost 22 pounds (inadvertently and under whispers of cancer) ever since I got sick....

Wait. That's a rather silly plan. ;)

Nelly said...

Losing weight is a Good Thing when you're a bit of a lardyass anyway but for you Bliss there can be no Cheers or Hurrahs from LI and myself until you've put back at least 15 of those 22 lbs.

Here in Ulster we'd say "Bliss is terribly failed," or "Bliss has failed away to a shadow of himself." Then when you started eating the Ulster Fries we'd be saying, "Bliss has started to mend up a bit."

Down about Howth Flann O'Brien would have said, "His trousers look as if his arse has fainted."

I like that one. Arse is a much better word than Ass.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Arse is a much better word. Ass sounds like you're trying to hold back from swearing in front of your grandmother.

Plus, any word that has the Father Jack seal of approval has to be good.

Nelly said...

Some people used to think that my father had a look of Jack Hackett about him. Especially when he needed a haircut. But Dad was much less unkempt and had not the same desire for DRINK!

As for the granny-proofness of arse. I'm sure that when I am a granny the main problem for my grandchildren will not be minding their language around me but minding their language after me.

Anonymous said...

As for the granny-proofness of arse

That phrase just suggests whole new types of Wrong. It shall be stricken from my memory.

And every child needs someone with experience of swearing to introduce them to it. The trick is to train them only to swear at the most inopportune moments. For example, swearing during a film is bad. However, swearing at crucial points in family videos is to be encouraged.

Example:
Priest: Do you take, Bob, take Lucy to be your lawful wedded wife, blah blah blah?

Bob: I do.

Bob's two year old nephew: ARSE!

Nelly said...

Zoe at two used to say the F-word quite lot when she couldn't get her lego bricks to stick together. We ignored her and she didn't say it again until she was 30.

True conversation from the late 60s.

Nelly: Mammy what does frig mean?
Matty: It's a polite way of saying eff-you-see-kay.
Nelly: Oh.

The pity of it is I thought she was right.