Friday, March 17, 2006

Tell It Again Nelly

Hannah and I spent St Patrick’s Day with Matty. We were going to take Paddy with us as a special anniversary treat but he and the bitcher escaped to go foxhunting. Bert said, “Doesn’t he know foxhunting is banned now?” but I told him that Paddy is well aware it’s still legal in Norn Iron.

So we took Matty for a drive around all her old haunts around Cargin and Carlane. She always enjoys a run out around that area and it gets her remembering her childhood years. Nearly every place we passed held a memory for her. But all the stories were the same ones she told me the last time I drove her around that area. Afterwards I told Hannah that I’d be repeating myself like that when I was Matty’s age. Hannah informed me that I was already repeating myself and that she had to listen to me telling the same stories to every person that comes into the house. That would be stories like this one.

Jenny: Ye know yer man has a fortune of money every week out of that Disability Living Allowance?

Me: Sure what’s wrong with him?

Jenny: He has no legs.

Me: No legs! Well the last time I saw him he looked like he had a helluva set of legs on him!

Jenny: Aye he has legs all right. But he applied for the DLA saying he was a chronic alcoholic.

Me: And is he an alcoholic?

Jenny: Not atall but he thought he’d try it anyway. Next thing he heared he had got the DLA because he had no legs.

Me: What did he do?

Jenny: Well he phoned them up saying that he thought they must have made a mistake but they said no it was right enough and that he was entitled to the money.

Me: Good God!

Jenny: There’s probably some poor cratur who has no legs got turned down.

Me: Or maybe yer man wrote on the form that he was always legless?

Anyways I’ve told this story to a whole lot of people and now I’m telling it to you.


Anonymous said...

very funny, worth a good telling. on a project at work i had to ask a nice lady if she was disabled, to which she deadpanned 'yes, i've got twins'. hope you had a good paddys days, edinburgh was alive with all the usual greenery! lots of fun.

take care,

Nelly said...

We went to Randalstown! I seen very little sign of St Patrick's Day tho the Forge coffee shop did have a few decos up.