Rooney's Luck

Young Loveheart is always saying that Young Rooney should get out more. The fellow hadn’t been out the door since the night he was mysteriously transported from the Countryman’s Inn, Grove Road, Ballymena to Logan’s Fashion’s near Cloughmills. We thought at the time it might have been an alien abduction. Who knows? What we do know is that Young Rooney lost a couple of hours that night.

And so it came about that Young Loveheart and the rest of the fellows talked Young Rooney into another night out in the Countryman’s. For a while all went well. Then it was time to move on to the next venue. The taxi was but half a mile down the road when Young Loveheart exclaimed, “Where’s Rooney?” Disaster! Rooney had been mislaid. “We can’t leave Rooney in the Countryman’s on his own,” Loveheart protested, “He’ll be killed! Let me out!”

Young Loveheart ran back to the pub and found Young Rooney pleasantly preoccupied in chatting up ‘a bird’ at the bar. In no time at all Young Loveheart was himself chatting up no less than six ‘birds’ and for a while all was well.

But Rooney’s luck did not hold. While Loveheart was otherwise engaged the brother of Rooney’s ‘bird’ took exception to a remark allegedly made by Rooney and commenced to ‘beat him up.’ It’s said (by Young Loveheart) that Rooney then took to his baters and outran his assailant. By the time Loveheart realised what had occurred Rooney was two miles down the road but not quite the length of Logan’s Fashions. Young Loveheart, naturally, had no difficulty in catching up with Rooney him being the tight lad he is.

The rest of the story is shrouded in mystery as the person to whom it was told (Bert) has but a short attention span and does not recall being told how the evening ended. But wouldn’t we all be fortunate to have a friend as mindful (and as fit) as Young Loveheart?