I Go To A Funeral

 It was the first funeral of the year, Aunt Maud in her 91st year. Bert said,

You must be running low on aunts by now. Have you any left at all?

I had to think,

There's just the one left in Australia but I don't know her at all.

In my younger days, I had heaps of Aunts.

On my mother's side, Aunt Kathleen, Aunt Josephine, Aunt Sadie, Aunt Bernadette and Aunt Clare.

And on my father's side, Aunt Roisin and  Aunt Mary

Then there were the aunts by marriage, all on dad's side, Mary, Bernie, May, Marian, Maud, Peggy, Maureen and Eileen.

Maureen is, as far as I know, the only one still living.

Maud was the last of the Irish aunts and we buried her today. 

This was the beautiful young woman that Uncle Brendan met and fell in love with. 

Brendan was murdered when she was in her early forties and today, almost half a century later, she was laid beside him in St Comgall's burying ground.

Maud never had children of her own yet the gathering today was full of children she had cared for and helped look after, the oldest of them in the mid-sixties, the youngest about five years old. 

She was a feisty woman, widowed twice, adored children, was incredibly kind, had a sharp tongue, loved hard, held grudges, was easily hurt, a grafter, sensitive, and fiercely loyal. The thing that I've been thinking about the most these past few days is the terrible grief, the despair she suffered in the days after Brendan's death. He was everything to her.

Maud and two of her godchildren, my brother Joe and my daughter Zoe.

Zoe was born three months after Shaun and Brendan were shot during the 1974 UWC strike In my naivety I thought that asking Maud to be her godmother would cheer her. Wrong reasons, the right choice. She spent the following Christmas with us which is when the picture was taken. When I look at it now I see her brave spirit. Even with a broken heart she still could raise a smile for little children.

 

The Last Aunt

 

Lizzie 1930-2021

So that's it. Bert's last Aunt has gone and now he's the only only one still standing from that branch of the family tree. An era ended. No-one comes after him.

Lizzie loved dogs and dogs loved her. It was when she asked Bert a few months ago not to bring our two when he visited that he knew things weren't right with her. She had an underlying condition, and who hasn't at 90? But it was Covid-19 took her in the end.

Six Months Later

Six months ago I visited one of my aunts, one who lives a mere ten miles away from me. It was a lovely visit, long overdue and on the drive home I promised myself, just as I'd promised her on her doorstep, that I'd come back soon, that I'd not leave it so long again. Yesterday I kept that promise, exactly six months since I'd seen her last. The pity of it, it was too late for Marian was dead. Today I go to her funeral.

There's a lesson there, don't you think?

Centaurea or Bachelor's Buttons always blooming in Aunt Marian's garden in May.

In Praise of Aunts

A short time ago Miss Martha was asked if she owned many Aunts. She replied that she had just the two but that she was in possession of many Great-Aunts. She actually has four Great-Aunts of her blood and three Great-Uncles. One Great-Uncle she has yet to meet. I believe he lives in the South of France. Martha is very impressed with her Aunts (and Uncles) and, after our recent trip to Sligo for Great-Aunt Leitrim Sister's graduation she said that she would like it if we all, her sister, parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles all lived together in the Great Southern Hotel, Sligo forever and ever. Well - it did have a swimming pool and an amazing breakfast bar. I don't know what we'd do with our dogs, cats, chickens and pigs though. Martha hadn't thought that one through. There are at least eleven dogs in our family alone. And I'd miss the poly tunnels.

My own three daughters lives were greatly enhanced by Aunts. For a time all four of them lived in London and they welcomed their nieces every year just as soon as they were old enough to travel alone.  Summer jobs were provided too and their experience widened in a safe and loving environment. Then one of the London Sisters became a Kerry Sister and there was some place else to be.

I wasn't short of Aunts myself. Five on my mother's side and two on my father's and a veritable Heap of Aunts by marriage. We made no difference - an Aunt was an Aunt. Vancouver Brother stayed with me last week and we visited a few of them, one my mother's sister - the last of the Blood Aunts and two By Marriage Aunts. It was very satisfactory. The funny thing about Aunts is, as we all get older, the age difference gets smaller. At Martha's age I thought they were elderly. They were merely in their late twenties and early thirties. Now I'm not a kick in the arse behind these amazing women in their eighties who are still getting on with their lives. They are maybe a little frailer but wiser and just as kind as ever they were.

I possess two nephews, three nieces and three great-nieces though I'm not much good at the Aunt thing. My children, my grandchildren and even myself have received great benefits from the Aunts in our lives and there's me - mediocre Ol' Aunt Nelly. Something to ponder on.

Martha and Evie hanging out with all the Great-Aunts and two Great-Uncles. And me.

I was so taken with my recent Aunt Contact that I sought another one out today. A By Marriage one who showed me great kindnesses in my younger days.She lives only a bare ten miles away and yet it is well over a year since I visited. I need to be a better Niece as well as a better Aunt.

Still A Big Strong Healthy Girl

My Aunt Polly would never dream of calling anybody obese or fat. She'll say something like,

Not a-tall! That young girl's not fat. Sure she's just a big strong healthy girl. Fat! Not a bit of it!

Or,

What does the doctor mean that child needs to lose weight? Sure that's a big strong healthy baby! There's not one thing wrong with that child!

Meanwhile, as I mentioned previously, I'm looking for the perfect wrap dress - the ideal solution to a slowly diminishing body shape. The last one looked great in the photograph, but then what dress wouldn't look great draped round a size 10 tailor's dummy? Drape it round a big strong healthy girl like me and there's too much bosom, too much leg and not enough drape and skim over the love handles. I'll have to keep on trying. Maybe the next one will be better.

And maybe this weekend I'll keep off the wine and cake and then on Monday, maybe, I'll lose another pound or two.

Mad Aunts

The Mad Aunts series will continue but first I must contact the legal department (Zoe) to discuss what can and cannot be posted. Bert has a ball of them. The Mad Aunt* pictured below shouldn't mind. She is a professor in Ulster-Scots Dialect at Crouch End University. What! You've never heard of it!! *Gipus Maximus aka The Gancher. PS Prof, it was Eamon called you Gipus Maximus.