Family Life

This has been a family-orientated week. On Monday, I prepared for the visit of the Norfolk Crowd by making an enormous cauldron of Bolognese sauce. Apparently, my only grandson likes to eat it with pasta at least five times a week. My plan was to serve it to the Haribo Contingent later that evening. I did and they seemed to enjoy it. I mentioned to Zoe that it was to be given to the Norfolk Lot in lasagna form on Tuesday and she couldn't help but wonder how I planned to serve it to the Norfolkians on Wednesday.  Cheeky monkey!

Zoe collected the Norfolk People on Tuesday morning and it was a delight to see how excited young James was. He remembered all the dogs' names and was chuffed that Judy jumped into the car to greet him before he had disentangled himself from the child seat. All the adults enjoyed the lasagna.

Wednesday was an At Home day. We had cheese and onion pie for dinner which was served late due to Young Norfolkians being completely out of their routine and unable to settle.

On Thursday the whole crowd of them left for a trip to Belfast. I have not yet mentioned that the Norfolkian grands were also part of the party. They are actually from Leek. Staffordshire but that's another story, one that may never be told. We had Indian food from the Khayber in Galgorm and, yet again, Miss Emily refused to settle. Rather than delay dinner to a ridiculously late hour the little madam was permitted to join us and sat at the table munching poppadoms and looking gleeful. Speaking as a granny, I was delighted with her, but her mother rather less so.

Friday was party day. The bouncy castle had been delivered the previous evening and all I had to do was clear the kitchen so that we could totally mess it up again. The party was a great success. Thirteen children, aged from 9 weeks to 9 years, nine parents, four grandparents and a much-loved aunt. Dave barbecued for everyone and the kids played on the bouncy castle, trampolined, chilled in the tree-house, explored the woods, utilised the toy-room*, visited the hens and pigs and had rides on the ninky-nonk**.

There was cake, lots of cake.

And on Saturday, Katy, Mark, James and Emily went home. But not before another session on the bouncy castle.  I'm already planning the next party. Who needs to have a birthday to have cake and bouncy castles? Not us.

Yet family isn't just about the fun times. Although, hopefully, we'll all have lots of those. Today my younger brother took me to visit his son's family. Joe's little granddaughter is gravely ill, and her parents doing the most amazing job of looking after her. Their courage, and that little girl's  spirit would humble anyone. And they've had fun, they've had adventures too in this last year of their daughter's illness.

Last word - let's cherish all the people we love. Even when we're not related to them.

* My private, secret sitting room, given over for one week only to trains and train tracks, Lego, farm animals, blocks, and many other toys.

** A metal trolley usually employed for moving plant trays. Holds four children comfortably, five being a bit of a squeeze,

July Bank Holidays. Looking Back

2005 Ian's Tip for Perfect Spuds

If you aren't sure your potatoes are thoroughly cooked just remove one from the pan and throw it at the window. If the window breaks return it to the pan and carry on cooking. Repeat as necessary.

2006 Chep Calling

GoodmorningthisisCHEPpalletscallingdoyouhaveanybluepalletsforcollection?

Yes. There are about six lying out at the back of the shed.

Canwegetaccesswitha40foottrailertocollectthepallets?

Aye. Probably. But yerman might have a bit of bother getting them pulled out of the nettle patch that has grown up around them in the past 18 months.

Pardon?

I mean they've been there like forever and you people phone up at least twice a week and then you never send anybody to collect them.

Pardon?

You'll have a lot less to be bothering yourselves about after the other night won't you? Did you see the size of some of those bonfires? Your blue pallets are worth about £7.65 each. Isn't that right? Dear kindling.

Click. Silence.

Bert! The bugger's hung up!

2007 The Head Chef

Nellybert always insists that only the sanest, most sober person be in charge of the barbecue.

Summer Branch Drop

On the 12th of July, unexpectedly and without warning, a huge branch fell from one of our mature beech trees. It was on a very hot and calm afternoon. Less than an hour earlier two children had been playing on the swing underneath the trees. The branch that fell brought another with it. Altogether they must have weighed at least a ton. I'd never heard of this phenomenon until it happened here at Springhill.


We were having a barbecue and there were a good few people around. When we heard the noise, a loud sharp crack, followed by a creaking and a loud crash as the branches hit the ground, I thought at first that the tree house had come down. Almost everyone made a dash for the trees because no one was sure where Ben was. He had been playing up there for most of the day with another child. It was a big relief when we saw that he was fine. In fact, he had seen the branch drop and was the first on the scene. He whooped, "Bert is going to be so happy! Look at all that firewood!"


One of our guests had heard of this happening. He had worked in a government department that dealt with tree preservation orders. He told us that sudden branch falls in hot, still weather is something that can happen to old trees.


I checked it out later.



Ed Perry, Farm Advisor Stanislaus County
University of California, U.S. Department of Agriculture and Stanislaus County


Over the last couple of weeks a phenomenon known as “summer branch drop” has been apparent throughout the area. Also called “sudden limb failure,” the phenomenon occurs during periods of very hot weather when apparently sound, relatively large limbs break out of large, mature shade trees. Since most people think that branches only break during windy conditions, a large branch crashing to the ground on a hot and calm day causes some excitement.


Branches that fail due to summer branch drop are usually long and horizontal, rather than more upright. Oddly enough, many times the break occurs along the length of the branch somewhere, rather than at its point of attachment to the trunk. While some broken branches may have wounds or areas of wood decay, many that drop are free of any obvious defects and appear sound. Therefore, summer branch drop is very difficult to predict.


There is still no generally accepted explanation for the phenomenon. However, most tree experts believe lack of adequate soil moisture, or drought stress, is to blame. This is a bit difficult to explain, since branches actually become lighter during hot weather as they lose more water from leaves than they gain from the root system. Studies have shown that branches actually shrink and rise during summer afternoons. Another theory is that water stress causes the concentration of ethylene, a plant hormone, to increase. Ethylene is a gas produced by all plants that effects all stages of plant growth and development, including processes involved in cell aging. There is a possibility that increases in ethylene could dissolve the cementation of cell walls in the wood, causing the branch to break. Others suggest that internal cracks in large branches, caused by wounds or improper pruning, eventually spread outward, causing the branch to fracture.






The phenomenon is less common in the British Isles but it does happen. The Arboricultural Association said it was aware of a number of reports of branches dropping off trees, an event it says is associated with prolonged hot spells.


Paul Smith, a technical officer with the organisation, said: “Certainly there’s a clear relationship between the weather conditions and the frequency of summer branch drop.

The indications are that it’s to do with water stresses within very large, often overextended or elongated limbs.












That is how close the biggest branch was to the swing. Had anyone been using the swing when the branch came down, they would have been very fortunate to escape serious or mortal injury.







There was no obvious sign of rot or decay. The part of the branch where it broke from the trunk was very wet beneath the bark.












I have always thought that our mature beech trees were the very best thing about this property. I feel differently now. A little more anxious. Some experts say that when sudden branch drop occurs in a tree, there is an increased chance that it will happen again. The branch that collapsed was not the only large, extended branch on that tree. The swing is on another. With great trees come great responsibilities. Perhaps it is time to call in the experts.

Buzz Killington

Clint is Buzz Killington.

There was Bert, enjoying a rare solitary evening, no me (for I was on Matty duties), only three good dogs and two good pigs to share his barbecued sea bream, baked potatoes and cider as he sat by the brai on one of the balmiest evenings of 2010.

But hark! Here is the sound of a Massey Ferguson coming up the lane. Sadly not Hector's, for Hector would not disturb Bert's reverie. No. It is Buzz Killington, otherwise known as Clint, on his new tractor. Clint - a man with no concept of relaxation or enjoyment, Clint who'd work a two-minute silence, Clint and his bloody dog - both of them go-go-go, for Clint has tractors to drive and Lucy her tail to catch.

What are ye sitting idling there for? There's barley straw to be got from up the road. C'mon now for it'll not get itself home!

I'm only getting a bite of supper.

Humph! I've mine in me long ago. I see you're at the drink again. I hope you're fit to drive!

I've only had half a glassful... the pigs...

You're giving those pigs drink! That'll do them a lot of good!

Sure if you seen the way they shape their wee mouths for me to pour it in. And the way they gaze up at me. It's so cute.

Not near wise. Your head's cut. C'mon! Let's get going!

Sadly Bert had only a few more mouthfuls of fish and a drop of cider to wash it down, then abandoned his lovely evening, looked sadly at the pigs and they at him. He trudged off in Clint's wake. That straw won't bring itself home y'know!

No Hangover

No breakages, no fights, no fisticuffs, no sexual shenanigans, no live music, no fireworks, no guns, no Orangemen, nobody died. Not even a magpie.

That has to have been one of the tamest Twelfth barbecues ever. I was in bed before midnight! Even the Wee Manny behaved himself!

The Glorious Twelfth: Part 3. The Wee Manny..

..and Mrs The Wee Manny are here. Jamie & Hannah are here. The rain has stopped. The South African Chenin Blanc Reserve (Tesco special offer) has been pronounced good. Bert has completed his filial duties. He has delivered his mother to his Aunt Lizzie's house. He has delivered hen pellets to his Eccentric Aunt Who Lives Squalorously In A Condemned House In The Hills.

How was she? Filthy.

And that's not filthy in a good way either. At every turn he has been impeded by Orangemen on the march.

They got me in Cully then they got me at Broadway then I raced down to Harryville and they got me there. They got me again in Kells. Bastards!

Meanwhile I have been in telephone communication with Swisser and have persuaded her that what she needs to beat her lurgy is Meat! And lots of it! So she should be coming along later.

The Glorious Twelfth: Part 1. Morning

Happy Orangeman's Day everyone. It looks a bit damp. Pity that. Not for the Orangemen of course, because they love walking in the rain - it cools their boiling blood. But a pity for us as we are having a barbecue today. All being well I'm going to blog all day so you might notice a little deterioration in sobriety as the day wears on.

It's also a happy birthday to Swisser who claims to be sick and shan't be coming. That is a shame as, it is such a significant birthday for her. Ahem!

I'm sitting here in my pyjamas and bird's nest hair. Bert is making breakfast. The dogs need let out and I need to.....