Saying Goodbye

The house my parents built when Zoe was only a tot changed hands today. The new owners are a young couple with small children. I’ve not met them but I expect my brother, their next-door neighbour, will get to know them in time. Of course, I am biased but if they don’t make a friend of our Joe, they’ll be losing out.

My parents signed over the house to their children many years before they died so we’ve owned it for a long time. It never seemed real until after Mammy died. It never seemed more real than today when I entered the house for the very last time as a stake-holder. I may never enter it again. It was an emotional moment. I only went into three rooms.

The kitchen. The heart of the home. Where Mammy reigned. The first place you’d go in. Sit at the table, drink tea, eat her scones, freshly baked if she knew you were coming. Her dresser, the display of plates and jugs forever changing.

 All empty today. When she lived and I came to take her out her coat would be draped on one of those chairs, her bag ready on the table. She'd offer me tea. I'd usually refuse. "We'll get tea when we're out." She was always ready for the road.

That was Daddy's spot. His chair. His special corner.

And this was what he looked out at. Pictured today. This view, this space belongs to another family now. They have a sound and well-built house, a safe and contained garden for their children, a field to do with what they wish, a  road full of good neighbours and a homeplace steeped in memories of love and kindness. I wish them every happiness in the world. It is what Martha and Seamus would have wanted.

Ten Years Ago Today

1952

Today is the 10th anniversary of my father's death. 

Heading out to a wedding

Apart from their wedding photographs there appear to be very few pictures of my parents in their younger days. I wondered why that should be. Perhaps it was because they were in charge of the camera and any photographs taken would be of us. I'm sure I can remember Daddy not being keen on having his photograph taken and would only submit on special occasions such as weddings. There were lots of weddings. Between them our parents had more than fifty nieces and nephews.

Of course when we grew up we were always taking photographs of them. As you can see Daddy found it hard to take it seriously. He was probably saying something like, "What are you taking pictures for you fool idiot!" As time went on he learned to accept his children's desire to document his existence.

 I wanted to take this picture in the garden. By then Seamus wasn't that mobile but he was prepared to oblige. Times had changed.

This picture was taken on the day of my sister Deirdre's wedding. It was a year or so after Daddy's stroke. He wasn't able to walk my sister up the aisle so Matty did the honours. It is almost painful to look at these images, to see how failed he had become. But there is joy in it too because of the love that they still had for each other.

Eleven months later I went to visit Matty. We had planned a jaunt to Magherafelt and a visit to Daddy in his care home. She visited him five to six times a week. Every chance she got. We got in the car and I said,

Magherafelt first or Daddy first?

She said,

Magherafelt first.

We spent an hour in Magherafelt and then back to Randalstown to visit with Daddy.

I remember I used to fuss over him a lot when we visited. But on this occasion I just kissed him hello then sat back on a sofa while Mammy sat close to him. I spent some of my time in idle conversation with another resident. But mostly I just watched them. Daddy seemed more responsive than usual. She was talking quietly to him, he was listening intently. They were touching each other on the arms and hands. After about thirty minutes she said we would go. I went over, kissed him, said, "See you soon." She said her goodbyes too. In the car, on the way home I said,

That was a lovely visit.

She agreed.

I left her home and went home myself. Got changed into gardening clothes and then the phone rang. It was the care home.

I got to see Daddy sooner than I expected and for the last time.

There are a lot of people who believe in angels. I'm not one of them. Except for this day ten years ago. It must have been an angel who guided me to that sofa, six feet away from my mother and father as they spent a part of their very last day together loving each other.

On The Fourteenth Day of Flicker

There was a headline in one of the rags last week declared that, this week, Britain was going to be hotter than Marrakech. Didn't happen in Ireland. What we keep forgetting, when we see stuff like that, is that when the media says Britain, what it actually means is London and the surrounding area.

So despite the cold I sowed leeks, spring onions, courgettes and climbing beans. All are being started in an indoor propagator. No work in my flower garden as I neglected to put on my thermals this morning.

Now for the 14th most interesting image on Flickr. There is no 14th most viewed picture today as it was a repeat.

Vancouver Brother at Whistler. 276 views.

Taken in British Columbia in August 2013. We took a day out to the mountains while I was visiting Eamon. That was a wonderful holiday, I long to return, although next time with Bert. Eamon looks so much like our father in that picture.

Our parents on their wedding day, Seamus was 32,  Martha 25.

Best Rainbow Ever

The NIE notified us a while ago that our electricity would be off for most of today so I decided that this would be an excellent day to take Matty out for a good, long run in the car. She has been feeling a bit low-spirited since she gave Kerry up.

The plan was that Kerry would come with us so that Mum could be certain that she was making the right decision. As I was about to leave Paddy was looking like he wanted to come too, so that was two dogs I had with me in the car. Rosie stayed home to keep Bert company.

Our first stop was Dad in Glenkeen, who deigned to eat the ice cream I brought him. He was watching This Morning with great enjoyment. We didn’t stay too long as we were mad to get on our way to Maghera. The approach to Maghera was via Cargin and Toome. As usual that road got Mum reminiscing. Today she was recounting all her cycle accidents and incidents. It was most entertaining. I managed to get through Toome without incident or accident and soon we were in Maghera at scones and coffee. Pretty good too, as I’d not had my breakfast coffee thanks to the non-electric situation.

Revived we drove on to Limavady. Mum has never stepped the streets of Limavady so that was something needing a remedy. The verdict was – a nice wee town, shiny, happy people and good charity shops. Mum bought a beige anorak* in a Salvation Army shop and was very delighted with it. I bought a John Irving, a Barbara Trapido and a turquoise linen shirt. And it is true what the Knowhere Guide says. Limavady is coming down with coffee shops, traybakes and wee buns.

Leaving Limavady for Coleraine we saw a wonderful rainbow. Matty said it was the most beautiful rainbow she’d ever seen. Which is some accolade as that is nearly 80 years worth of rainbows she’s talking about.

Coleraine was good too. We had a late lunch there and a peruse around the charity shops. I bought a tin tray for 50p. Very Cath Kidston. We promised ourselves to get ourselves back to Coleraine very soon.

Then home. I found that despite having driven over 100 miles, and walking through three towns that I’d only clocked up 885 steps for the day. After coffee and a chat with Mum I set off for home. After coffee and a chat with Bert I took the dogs on the river walk (in the dark!) and bumped the pedometer up to nearly 7000. Food for thought there. Walking with old ladies is only the gentlest of exercise. Cannot wait to get her into a wheelchair so I can get toned!

Tonight Rosie, Paddy and Kerry were attempting to get into the Guinness Book of Records by seeing how many mongrels can fit unto the passenger seat of an Astra. It will only be a matter of time before dogs are required by law to wear seatbelts. That will be damnable, as I will have to invest in a bigger car.

*She is nearly 80. She is allowed to have a beige anorak.