Thanks For All The Eels

One useful thing about being a long-term blogger and user of social media is that there is a record of all the important life events. Like, just how long is it since we've had eels for dinner? Well, Bonnie was alive then and she's been gone for ages. How long?  June, 2013. More than five years now. But how long since she stole the eels? November, 2007. Nearly eleven years ago. That's the last time eels were served in this house. Until tonight.

Richard and I hatched the plot. Bert had been watching a show about Lough Neagh and remembered how much he loved eels. But where to get them? We live a short distance from the biggest freshwater lake in the British Isles and it's full of eels, a delicacy exported worldwide.  Who sells them? Back in the day this one and that one could get them for you, even further back in the day, my parents got them from Uncle Paddy who lived on the shores of Lough Neagh and fished eels and pollan for a living. Nowadays, as Richard found out, they're sold directly from the Lough Neagh Fisherman's Co-operative Society.

It was to be a surprise and surprised Bert was when Richard presented him with two packs of the finest Lough Neagh Eels. His squeals of delight could be heard in the village. He cooked them just like Matty did, coated in seasoned flour, slowly in a heavy bottomed frying pan for an hour and more. Delicious, served with RJ Kerr's finest and freshest soda bread,

As I said to Richard on Facebook,

....thanks for all the eels.

Did we sing The Eely Song?

Of course we did.

Facebook Strangeness

Sometimes I am amazed at the kind of things that people post to Facebook. There was the woman who threw her husband out and then, feeling sorry for herself, had rather too many glasses of wine,  got on to Facebook and produced a misspelled and incoherent rant about how he hadn't paid her for her birthday present and he'd gone leaving her without milk in the fridge. Sad and strange. She took it down the next day but it was too late. I'd seen it. But I was ashamed to have seen it and now I don't look at her posts.

Then there are the people who conduct family feuds on the site. Not surprising that they cannot get on with their family. Disparaging an ex-partner on social media? Not cool. Especially if there are children involved.

Sharing content from other sites that spread bullshit? I've probably done that myself but I wouldn't make a habit of it. It's not difficult to do a little background research before you post and it will keep your more discerning Facebook friends (like me) from thinking you a complete eedjit. And unfriending you.

But tonight I came across a post that stunned me. It's a guy, I don't really know him, from America - friend of a friend. He's lying on his back speaking into his phone. He looks so strange, telling some people that he loves them and that he is having a heart attack! He thinks he might be dying. Facebook is a strange animal. There be me - sipping a coffee, nibbling on a biscuit and there be him, mortally unwell, an ocean away and filming himself on a hospital trolley.

I hope he recovers. I won't unfriend him. For as far as I know he's not a Trump supporter. And I certainly won't be linking this post to my Facebook account.

Oh I forgot to mention, the woman who makes vague accusations that her parents murdered her brother. I stopped looking at her posts too.

Like and Share

There was one of those happy/sad videos on Facebook this morning and I watched it, got happy/sad then shared. The video featured a young man in New York City going up to complete strangers who were scoffing pizza, explaining that he was hungry and asking for a slice. He got nothing but refusals.

Then the film showed another young man buy an older homeless man a box of pizza which the older man accepted with gratitude. The first man, the slice beggar, approached the homeless man as he was enjoying his pizza, sat down beside him, explained that he was hungry and asked for a slice. Without any hesitation the homeless man proffered a slice. The beggar sat down beside the man, thanked him and they ate together. When the beggar had finished he gave the homeless man a sum of money, thanked him and left. The homeless man put his face in his hands and wept. I almost wept myself. Then I shared. As did one and a half million other people.

Then I found myself thinking about the film, about how it was most probably heavily edited to make the point the film makers wanted to get across. And the point they were trying to get across was that helping others is a good thing for it makes everyone feel good. In the long run they just wanted the shares. The pizza beggar was wearing a shirt that advertised a film making company. It was a sweet message and a manipulative one, and one that did little actual good. It seems that nowadays sharing something on social media is even better than actually doing anything that helps. We get to feel good about ourselves without making the least bit of effort.

I wonder if the homeless man was even real.

Be Aware!

Despite reports that Facebook is losing ground, especially in the United States, it still seems ubiquitous here in the Old Countries. Everybody, the world, his wife and the oul' Granny is on it. The young ones are mad for it with their weird txtspk (which I despise) and, if it used to be that people were cool if they were on it, now it seems they're even cooler if they're not. So obviously I'm not cool.

Social networking can be elevating and depressing in equal measures.

I was recently most depressed to find on checking out Facebook that a young acquaintance of mine had just been punched in the face by her delightful boyfriend and there she was on the internet telling everyone about it. I suppose there was an element of name and shame going on there but if that was the case it was lost on me as I don't know the arsehole. What depressed me was that she felt she had to go on the internet to look for support. Where were her family, her real friends? I'm afraid I did not comment and I may have to defriend. I feel real sympathy for her but I don't know where she lives, I don't have her number and I'm not her friend. What's the point of me knowing?

Then there was another young friend who status-updated her happy thoughts on her impending marriage. It was, and she admitted this, rather cheesy. I felt that other, less happy people might have been upset by her smug-about-to-be-marriedness and thought two things. Quit it! Learn to spell!

To balance out this negativity and blahness I had a private message from a young woman who I'd known as a child and the sentiments she expressed gave me a glow that lasted all day.

Finally, and this is something to beware of - if you die in a tragic accident, accidentally run over your mum, get arrested for murdering patients in a hospital or piss on a war memorial it will be that wacky profile picture from some social networking site that will find it's way into the papers. Think on.

What I Bought

If it weren't for the Sunday papers I wouldn't have a notion what is going on in the world. According to the Sunday Times there is a whole class of youngsters who have a lucrative side line in telling the world what they have bought recently. Apparently this is the way forward in marketing and said young ones get free stuff thrown at them because of the following they have in their video logs. God! The world is even sadder than I thought. So - who cares what a baby boomer buys? Today Nelly bought a copy of the Sunday Times and some mini bin liners at the Nisa in Cullybackey. The girl at the till asked me if I wanted a carrier bag. I said no as I usually do. Then I remembered that's why I had to buy mini bin liners. I still said no. Pearlie has got a thing about plastic bags. When we cleared out her mobile home I threw out about ten thousand of them. She isn't happy unless she has huge amounts of them stashed. Which is why I had to buy her bin liners. The Sunday Times will come in useful. Homes, Travel. Finance and Sport are to be immediately utilised for the pup to piss on. I had a wee read at Style but got deeply depressed at the Agent Provocateur article. What meaning can this have for the likes of me? I threw it from me in disgust. Much more to my taste was the interview with Jimmy Page in the magazine. Cheeky interviewer brought up the S&M allegations. Jimmy sardonically laughed it off. As you do. Rest of the paper? Maybe later if the pup doesn't piss on it first. I've got the new Kate Atkinson so who the hell cares? <><><> Nelly bought - 1. Bin liners 1 quid 2. Sunday Times 2 quid Nelly encouraged Bert to buy - Red wine (and he did. Hic...)