Young Loveheart's Obsession With Knives

Young Rooney says that young Loveheart cannot go into a shop without buying something. It doesn’t matter what kind of a shop it is, young Loveheart will not come out of it empty-handed.

“What? Not even a cheese shop?” I enquired. “No,” young Rooney claimed, “If Loveheart found himself in a cheese shop he’d buy his mother some cheese for sure.”

He told us this story.

Me and Loveheart were buying a wedding present for Dunwoody and while I was at the till paying for it Loveheart wandered off. Next thing I know he comes back with a set of kitchen knives.

“What did you buy those for?” I asked him. “These are great knives,” says he. “There’s a boy over there demonstrating them. They’ll cut anything, they’re carbon tungsten edged, they’ll never go blunt and they were only £25. These knives will last me for years.”

“But you don’t even cook,” I said to him, “What will you use them for?” He says to me, “They’ll be great for cutting gange.” I says to him, “Sure there is no gange and, anyway, haven’t you a drawer full of penknives you have no need of and another drawer full of hunting knives you that never went hunting in your life?”

So now he has these amazing knives in his room and he sits there cutting up tin cans and other stupid stuff and then throwing it in the bin. Sitting there with a bin full of cut up tins and bars of soap and other stuff.