In Which Nelly and the Kitten Find Themselves Feeling Rather Chilled

Apart from the garden centre, my present office is the coldest place I’ve ever worked and at least in the garden centre I could do some physical work to keep warm. So, much as I’d like to convey a smart corporate image, in jackets and heels and little silk scarves, I’m happed up in layers of wool and body-warmers, mufflers and fingerless gloves and with a long drip hanging off the end of my freezing nose and looking a lot less like a groomed and glossy receptionist and a lot more like Albert Steptoe.

But at least I was cheered up when Hagelrat invited me to do a book meme (I swear I think I started that one but maybe it’s just a geriatric delusion) and by happy chance the book closest to me was Swallows and Amazons and didn’t page 56 gave up a delightful passage featuring Titty and Dick and a lot of tackings, moorings and tying-ups to bushes that were growing out of rocks. But unfortunately the book is still in at work so I cannot do it.

The only other book I had to hand was ‘The God Delusion’ which was loaned to me by Mr D, a delightful chap in his eighties, and he says he’s definitely an atheist now. I think that’s terribly tough-minded of him at his age. I was the second person he loaned his copy to. The first was a Church of Ireland vicar and the book was returned inserted with 6 pages of handwritten notes and quotes from the bible. Mr D remains unconvinced but I expect the clergyman felt he had to try.

And on the home front Bert has embarked on his traditional Christmas preparations. This always involves a large, messy and thoroughly non-urgent task that he has been putting off for at least three years. I think it was last year he decided to demolish the turf shed and this year he’s building (from scratch) a sliding door between the scullery and the hall. The house is knee deep in sawdust and I’m terrified the kitten is going to decapitate itself on Bert’s Makita.

Not very kitten-friendly

Bert says it won’t because it’s not clever enough to override the safety features. But is it little wonder I fear that Bert takes a very cavalier attitude to Fred’s wellbeing when Hannah found the poor wee thing in the pet food fridge this evening? Luckily it hadn’t been in there very long and was happily lapping away at an open tin of cat food. But what if Hannah hadn’t been going to feed the dogs at that very minute? Bert said it would have learned the wee brute not to go in there.

Bert's New Toy

Projects at Nellybert’s can take some considerable time. One that seems to have been going on forever is the upstairs bathroom. It was always useable as it contained the standard bath, toilet and wash basin. However not many people, other that the utterly shameless Nellybert, did use it for there were no curtains and only one window with frosted glass. The other window looked out over the road and would have afforded passing motorists an excellent view of whoever happened to be easing their bladder or bowels at the time. Eventually I purchased some gorgeous curtains from EBay and after a couple of months Bert put up curtain track and it was only a few weeks later that I got round to hanging the curtains.

The gorgeous poppy curtains

That achievement spurred us on because it wasn’t long before Bert embarked on boxing in the bath. He used old pine tongue and groove panelling that had featured in the bathroom before we’d renovated the house. It was at this stage that we regretted using a wood effect vinyl floor covering for the two woodinesses (antique and faux) laughed at each other.

The panelled bath

But there was still the space at the end of the bath. We’d considered a piece of old furniture for this and had left the floor uncovered until we found it.

The space at the end of the bath

Eventually I decided that Bert would build me a shelving unit. Plans were discussed. Plans were even drawn. Leitrim Sister had an idea, West Belfast Social Worker had another idea, Bert had an even better idea – or so he has convinced me. The only thing was – Bert’s idea needed a Compound Mitre Saw! I’m not sure what this actually does (Bert assures me it is an essential) but this I do know – men should always be encouraged to buy expensive power tools because it gives women such leverage when it comes to getting things done around the house.

You've spent all that money and I’m still waiting for my shelves, table, bed whatever!

Bert's new toy

Leitrim Sister! We Need You!

Ronni and Bert voted for the alcoves. I think Dave liked the alcoves too but he wouldn't commit himself.Hannah and cousin Margaret voted for the back wall. They nearly had me convinced, Bert said he would build shelves here with a happy heart.

But....not only was this Zoe's choice, it got Ganching and Sandra's vote too. But Bert says he's not picking up as much as a nail until he hears what Leitrim Sister has to say.

Bookcases

I want lots of bookshelving in my den. That is the room where Bert is currently installing the fireplace. Obviously Bert will be the man to build them as he's really awfully good with his hands. After all he built this superb turkey hoose for Clint. Now my guru in most matters of taste & design is Zoe. Bert jealously accuses me of 'hanging on to her every word'. So when I told him that Zoe advised I cover an entire wall with book shelving he pooh-poohed it. He said it would make the room look like a library. I said if I wanted my room to look like a library that was up to me. And he said that was fine and dandy but I could get somebody else to build the bookshelves. Nast-ee! And there's you lot think he's so damn nice. Sometimes he's not one bit nice. But it's usually when he's hungry.

So for a while we asked everyone who came into the house where they thought the bookshelves should go. A lot of people (including Bert) thought the two alcoves on either side of the fireplace would be the spot. I thought that was a bit too conventional. Then someone suggested the wall facing the fireplace. Eventually Bert said he'd go with what Leitrim Sister said. I suppose he respects her opinion because she's always hanging ceilings and repairing roofs and knocking up luxury rabbit hutches when she's not coppicing hazel or studying for her degree. So Leitrim Sister (or anyone for that matter) - what are your thoughts?

No Work Today

Bert spent today putting in a fireplace. He's really awfully good with his hands. I spent the day sussing out (with Matty) the exact location of next week's batch of nursing homes in a town the other side of the hill. It is no joke going into new places all the time let me tell you young fellow-me-lad. People who work in nursing homes aren't as much fun as people who work in hostels. They are too damn busy for a start. And generally they seem to hate agency workers.

Regarding the farawayness of these places, see, I made the mistake at the start saying I'd travel up to 20 miles for work. Now I think they keep all the faraway assignments for me and send all the sad sacks that don't drive to the local jobs.

Cannot say how disappointed I am that the job of my dreams did not materialise. But I have to ask myself - do I really want to work for an organisation that hasn't the manners to inform me that I didn't get the post? Well yes. At that money I did.

To get back to my day - I came home fully expecting the fireplace job to be completed but it was not. He was demented because, as usual, he'd forgotten to eat and was too dangerous to go near. So I went for a walk. Then I bought him a fish supper and everything was OK.

Stray Toaster does not allow blind links so I'll call it this - Nepotism.

My Girl

Time to knit a couple of rows, originally uploaded by ZMB.