Nellybert Does Feng Shui

So! What d'ye think of this summer skirt I bought in TK Maxx?

Bert stares at the skirt that Nelly holds up against herself with a look of incomprehension on his face. Finally he says,

That's a nice wee skirt.

Nelly glares. Then Bert says,

What d'ye expect me to say? Sure what do I know about skirts?

Well you could have said it's a nice colour for summer or that you like the embroidery detail.

Aye! And I could say that it's beautifully cut.

Aye! Ye could!

Oh well. I suppose I should be grateful he doesn't say,

So how much did that cost?

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Later on

Bert! Would you try and keep the legs of that coffee table in line with the tiles. I hate it sitting all coggly like that.

Why? Is it bad Feng Shui?

Aye it is!

Do you ever think you might be going mad?