I was brought up in a
family where breast feeding was the norm. I had been breast fed
myself, I'd seen all my six brothers and sisters breast fed and it
never occurred to me to do anything else.
Back when I had my children feeding one's
child oneself was not the norm and midwives did not seem to
encourage it. Nevertheless I persevered and it all went well for
me. There were no problems, my little ones thrived and that thing called 'baby
weight' melted away in no time.
As time passed I found
out more about my own and Matty's early experiences. My mother let
the odd thing drop and eventually it all became clear. She had a
difficult breech birth with me and did not recover well. She felt
isolated and unsure of how to deal with her first child. I was very
underweight and she struggled with nursing. As her anxiety increased,
she neglected to nourish herself and consequently I was starving at the
breast. She told me that there were fierce District Nurses who called
very often such was their concern for this baby that failed to
thrive.
Then my Aunt Sarah
visited. She had a son six months older than me. He was a giant baby,
dark curls, the fattest chubby cheeks, a great lump of a well-fed
infant. Aunt Sarah was horrified to see the scrawny thing that Matty
had produced.
Give that child a bottle! Thicken it with Farex. Put sugar in it.
Matty did as her sister
said and I started to thrive. Got chubby. But I never, ever forgot
that early starving. All my life I have wanted more food. At times of
anxiety I just want to eat and I especially want to eat starchy,
sugary things. I must have adored those thickened, sweetened bottles
of milk.
I've been thinking
about this recently for I've gained weight. Again. I can't stop
eating. And that cousin? The one who never knew hunger in his entire
life? You should see him now. He's as lean as a whippet and a right handsome devil.
3 comments:
Maybe find the cause of the anxiety???
Nature is preparing your body for winter. It is adding the underskin overcoat, to keep you healthy and warm.
Brighid - I've been anxious my entire life!
Grannymar - this is already my summer body. How can I tell it I have thermal underwear and don't need any more fat
?
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