Friday, December 23, 2005

Number 93

Scene: A small village butcher's shop. Nelly has called to do business with the owner with whom she is on first name terms.

Nelly: Good morning James. I'm here to collect my hand-fed, big-breasted, opera-lovin' and organic turkey if you please.

James: Why certainly miss. What's your number?

Nelly: (rather crestfallen) Number 93.

James: William! Number 93 is here for her turkey.

William brings out the big bird. Nelly feels a little sad. This is one turkey who''ll never listen to Madame Butterfly again.

James: That will be seven million pounds please

And this is what I'm thinking. It is a terrible thing to kill a turkey. You take away everything they are and everything they're ever going to be.* And I'm also thinking. See thon James. Robbing bastard.

*Wishing El Capitan a very Happy Christmas


Claire said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours Nelly, enjoy your turkey :)

I hope you don't mind, but I've tagged you on my blog for this "weird things" meme.

Beowulf said...

Merry Christmas Nelly.

Hell of a thing to kill a turkey...

Nelly said...

Not at all Claire. I'm delighted.

Beowulf there are times when I realise that I'm not a very nice person at all.

For instance after participating in turkicide I didn't actually elbow a fellow shopper out my way at the sprouts but I squared up to her as if I might.

Happy Christmas to you two as well.

Anonymous said...

Who is it I like and what am I missing out on reading then? Let me know after the day. Merry Christmas. xxx. Mick

Nelly said...

It's wrapped and will be travelling to Norfolk via Katy. Even tho' I don't normally get you a pressie doesn't mean I won't be thinking about you and telling everybody how CRACKER you are. Note no s on end of cracker. Give my love to Linda & all the Lindaettes. Happy Christmas to you both. Phone you on Christmas evening.

Anonymous said...

Hope you all have a good Christmas. I've spent Christmas Eve walking on the beach and watching parrots flying around.



Nelly said...

How unlike the homelife of our own dear Matty.

Hope you don't have parrot for Chrissie dinner. Happy Christmas from all of us.

CyberSanta said...

Nelly, As Big Ian wouldn't say "Nolag mhaith Dhuit Agus Bliain Nua Fe Mhaise" :-)
Happy Christmas