Friday, December 23, 2005

Number 93

Scene: A small village butcher's shop. Nelly has called to do business with the owner with whom she is on first name terms.

Nelly: Good morning James. I'm here to collect my hand-fed, big-breasted, opera-lovin' and organic turkey if you please.

James: Why certainly miss. What's your number?

Nelly: (rather crestfallen) Number 93.

James: William! Number 93 is here for her turkey.


William brings out the big bird. Nelly feels a little sad. This is one turkey who''ll never listen to Madame Butterfly again.

James: That will be seven million pounds please




And this is what I'm thinking. It is a terrible thing to kill a turkey. You take away everything they are and everything they're ever going to be.* And I'm also thinking. See thon James. Robbing bastard.

*Wishing El Capitan a very Happy Christmas

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8 Comments:

Anonymous Claire said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours Nelly, enjoy your turkey :)

I hope you don't mind, but I've tagged you on my blog for this "weird things" meme.

4:17 pm  
Blogger Beowulf said...

Merry Christmas Nelly.

Hell of a thing to kill a turkey...

6:30 pm  
Blogger Nelly said...

Not at all Claire. I'm delighted.

Beowulf there are times when I realise that I'm not a very nice person at all.

For instance after participating in turkicide I didn't actually elbow a fellow shopper out my way at the sprouts but I squared up to her as if I might.

Happy Christmas to you two as well.

6:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is it I like and what am I missing out on reading then? Let me know after the day. Merry Christmas. xxx. Mick

9:09 pm  
Blogger Nelly said...

It's wrapped and will be travelling to Norfolk via Katy. Even tho' I don't normally get you a pressie doesn't mean I won't be thinking about you and telling everybody how CRACKER you are. Note no s on end of cracker. Give my love to Linda & all the Lindaettes. Happy Christmas to you both. Phone you on Christmas evening.

9:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you all have a good Christmas. I've spent Christmas Eve walking on the beach and watching parrots flying around.

ganching

xx

7:59 am  
Blogger Nelly said...

How unlike the homelife of our own dear Matty.

Hope you don't have parrot for Chrissie dinner. Happy Christmas from all of us.

9:31 am  
Anonymous CyberSanta said...

Nelly, As Big Ian wouldn't say "Nolag mhaith Dhuit Agus Bliain Nua Fe Mhaise" :-)
Happy Christmas
CyberSanta

12:38 pm  

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