The Deep, Deep Peace Of The Dentist's Chair

I woke up this morning with impaired vision in my left eye. The reason? It was swelling resulting from two days of emergency dental treatment. Wednesday morning was spent at the surgery having an abscess treated. The dentist kindly offered to extract my tooth on the spot and I responded by bursting into tears. Because I couldn’t face the world with two gaps and my new pretend teeth were not ready. Then bolstered with painkillers and antibiotics I spent the next 25 hours at work. It was fairly eventful. Pregnant girls shinning up and down drainpipes, either attempting to illicitly enter or illicitly leave the premises, enlivened the nighttime. Who knows if it was true? Stories vary and I saw nothing. Then the daytime was wee Belfast boys installing security cameras so that we can enjoy action replays of pregnant girls shinning up and down drainpipes. Or not. As the case may be. Management then decided that this would also be a good day for revamping the office. So here’s me trying to do my normal work sitting at a desk zombied on painkillers and there’s them hovering impatiently wanting to move or do away with the desk and then when I go to file something (first locate your filing cabinet) I return to find the desk is upside down and halfway out the office door. Half hour to do a petty cash receipt – that’s a record even for me. It was so hectic that I said to my boss,

Do you know where I’d rather be? I’d rather be sitting in a lovely peaceful dentist’s surgery having a tooth pulled.

And a couple of hours later when I was sitting in a lovely peaceful dentist’s surgery having a tooth pulled it wasn’t half as great as I’d imagined. And now I’m sitting here still zombied on antibiotics and painkillers and wearing my pretend teeth and they are not as awful as I’d imagined. Things can only get better.