Monday, July 25, 2005

The Book of Lies

This morning we opened the door to Harry de Cat. He lurched in with a young robin in his slavering jaws. Bert kicked him up the arse and the robin fell from his maw. We closed Harry in the house and took the robin outside. It was stunned, covered in cat slabbers but alive. Bert laid it down gently on the drystone wall and the wee bugger flew off!

"Why can't you hunt rats and mice...and squirrels?" Bert asked the cat. Harry made him no reply and leapt on the cat feeding surface and roared for Kitty Treats.

Oh the wee birds are lovely but - hoochin with worms. And natch so is Harry which is why he's always hungry. Bert says the pet shop girl's worm treatments are no good and that we should take Harry to the vet for a good strong cure. "Like being put down," I suggested.

Now Bert has told me a terrible thing and I'm too scared to look it up in case it's true. He says that the roundworms that Harry gets from the birds and rodents can drop out of his bum and dessicate. Then if they are ingested they rehydrate and off they go again laying their horrible eggs and so on. Bert says they can lie dormant and dried up for six months or more. I asked him where he heard this and he said "I read it in a book." I said I hoped it was the Book of Lies.

5 comments:

Lost Identity said...

yikes. i hope it's a lie too.

Nelly said...

Yea - because when they're desscicated you could practically inhale them. Urrgh.

Anonymous said...

Oh aye, blame the worms. We all know it's really Harry's fault. What with cats being evil, and all that.

Ed

Nelly said...

Do you know I totally agree with you. But it's no fun kicking a cat up the arse when the toe of your boot ends up clarried in worms.

Anonymous said...

I think bert's right i'm afraid-its quite cool that all his book-learned knowledge is becoming usefull too.
bastarding worms, but also agree with ed-my dogs never killed a bird.
mikeyxx