Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Cruelty to Animals

Oh I do hope that no one from the USPCA reads this blog. There have been two instances of cruelty to animals at Nelly's Garden today - three if you count what the cat did.

I decided to walk into Cully this morning to collect my Tory rag. I strapped myself into my music listening apparatus, slotted in some Classical Favourites, slipped a fiver into my sturdy bra and went in search of a dog. Paddy was my dog of choice as I'd taken Rosie the last time. But it wasn't even 9am and he was still in bed. I trailed him out of it, hooked him to a lead and then had to drag him down our scarey back lane. It's so overgrown now that the postman won't even drive up it and he doesn't give a hoot about his wee red van. So that was the first instance of cruelty to animals.

On the way back there was a torrential downpour. Ironically enough it started just as 'Air on a G String' started on my player. That made me smile. Getting soaked but I didn't care for all I needed was my music and a metaphorical Hamlet cigar. The rain made me smile but my poor abused dog hated it. I wonder if he'd known there was going to be a big plout and that's why he'd been reluctant to go in the first place?

The second instance of animal cruelty was two-fold. It was very cruel of Harry de Cat to kill all the little wren babies in the polytunnel. It was also very cruel of Bert to kick Harry's arse. But also strangely satisfying. Bert said, "After I guarded them diligently too." I don't think he was pleased when I pointed out that he wasn't very diligent last night when he fell to the Bushmills and forgot to ensure that the wren-murdering bastard was indoors.


Anonymous said...

maybe we can re-name harry de cat as wren murdering bastard - or wmb - that sounds like a wrestling name or something. or a rapper. ha ha. i think its quite catchy though.

Nelly said...

Harry is very fond of shrimps so Ian's got this plaintive voice he does when Harry's is shouting to be fed - it must be spoken in a pathetic, whinging, whiney voice "pinks, pinks," this will now be amended to "pinks, pinks, wrens, wrens."

Anonymous said...

normally i wouldn't stand for any cruelty to cats but i actually think harry deserved that kick up the arse. poor wee babby wrens. its not like harry doesnt get enough kite kat.