Sunday, July 31, 2005

Take A Virtual Walk With Nelly

Are you time poor? Too busy to go on the lovely country walks that I go on? Do you live outside Norn Iron? Do you miss our leafy lanes and flaggy roads and those lunatics on tractors? Do you yearn for a glimpse of Slemish or the Bann?

If so I have a solution. I am prepared to take a walk on your behalf. At your request I'll walk your chosen route, take some photographs along the way and write about it on the blog.

Option 1. The walk should be no more than 5-7 miles in total. The going should be moderate and the range should be within 15 miles of Cullybackey. Cost for this option is nil, free and gratis.

Option 2. The walk should be in Northern Ireland. The going should be moderate to slightly tough. The distance covered 8-10 miles. A small fee plus expenses will be charged.

Option 3. The walk can be anywhere in the whole wide world. It can be any length, any distance or any kind of terrain. A huge fee and expenses will be charged.


Anonymous said...

Just a query: are the expenses (and fee) to be paid before or after the virtual walk? If it's after, whats to stop the more unscrupulous amonst us* getting you to go for a long walk, then regaling us with stories and photos, and then forgetting to pay?

Just curious.


*- yes, I mean me

Nelly said...

Ah you forget - I know where you live or at least where you return to at least once a week to fix things. I'd be on your ma's doorstep as quick as a flash,

'Here missus, see me, see your Eddie....'

Anonymous said...

Now, you wouldn't go and tell on me, would you? I expected a more imaginative method of getting your own back. Probably involving shallow graves under a pile of clemantii.

Nelly said...

It would hardly come to that. Anyway if I did have to dispose of a body I'd simply compost it. You can't imagine the amount of garden waste we create here.

For the medium trips I'd just diss you on the blog if you reneged on the dosh. For the longer trips it'd be airline tickets and big cheques up front. Anyways if you can't afford a digital camera this month you'll never be able to afford to finance me out trekking through the Hindu Kush. Why don't you try a free virtual walk?

Anonymous said...

I was considering that, but since I'm not a huge walking kind of a person, I can't think of many places that you wouldn't have done, or that I haven't seen meself. Which takes the thrill out of the thing.

Stray Toaster said...

Set up an Amazon wishlist, make sure it has mwk(tm) approved music on it, and lo, your reward for doing a walk on my behalf will be in the post.

Anonymous said...
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