Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Nelly? A Pool Table? You Choose

Marty M, Bert and I are looking over the new house. We park ourselves in the sunroom while Marty and Bert have a smoke. The sunroom is the bit that wasn’t there before. It’s leads off the kitchen and is a big airy bright room that I’m going to fill with comfortable sofas. We plan to entertain in it, relax in it and it’s going to be the sole smoking area. But Marty M has a different notion.

Marty: Do you know what this room is crying out for?
Nelly: A bar?
Marty: A pool table. What do you think Bert? Wouldn’t a pool table be great in here?
Bert: I suppose you could fit one in no problem.
Nelly: I don’t think so. There’d be no room for my comfy sofas.
Marty: Bert. She’s got to go. Send her packing. Get a pool table.

Sometimes I think I’m far too tolerant for my own good.


Anonymous said...

Oh come on. After the torture Bert went through with the Revenoo, he deserves a pool table. If you could fit a bar in as well that would be a special bonus.

Nelly said...

Pool tables and bars are men attractants but if he really wants one and if the Revenoo leaves him with any money atall he can put a pool table and a bar into one of his sheds. It's not as if he'll be using them for farming or anything.

Anonymous said...

So we can look forward to The NellyBert Arms opening sometime in the Winter, then?

Nelly said...

Ssssh! We wouldn't want the Revenoo or the Customs & Excise know about our proposed shebeen.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you get the memo? the revenoo and C&E are now the same people. Which means that there's a one stop shop for PEOPLE WHO MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL.

Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs: we salute you. I didn't think it was possible to detest any single department this much, but you made it so easy.

This little interlude was brought to you by me having to spend an hour or two last night working out HMRC's new rules for Working Family Tax Credit.

Nelly said...

I heard on the radio the other day that WFTC was such a bollix that many people would prefer to do without it and that instead of helping them financially it actually penalised them. Something to do with miscalculating and getting it wrong then whacking the money off people even if it bankrupted them. Render on to Gordon the things that are Gordon's and a lot more besides. It's enough to make you want to be a hermit. But then there's the Hermit Tax they're bringing out. Probably.