Nelly the Zealophant

Bert and I went out for breakfast this morning. We went to one of those cafes that specialise in cheap Ulster fries and traybakes. It’s a popular spot that is always doing a roaring trade. As I’d already had my healthy fruit and muesli breakfast I ‘contented’ myself with a cup of coffee. He was ages in the queue so I entertained myself by people watching. There was a 60+ couple in front of him. I noticed that the man, otherwise just stocky, had one of those enormous bulging bellies. His wife was pretty chunky too. Both of them collected huge platefuls of food. I watched the man as he sat down. He looked almost dewy-eyed as he started to tuck in. Bert came down with a small fry-up, small enough to see lots white plate through. I’ll have to be honest here and admit that not so long ago I’d have had some food too, even though I wasn’t hungry, just because it was there and everyone else was eating. And maybe that was why I was so interested in what all the other people were eating and why I was being hypercritical about their diets and their BMIs. As Ed said of me as recently as today, ‘there's no zealot like a convert’. He was talking about my anti-smoking stance. But anyways back to the big-bellied man. He was still chomping away after Bert had finished the mini-fry. Only by now he was looking a bit bored with it and his jaws seemed weary as he chowed down. His hunger was satisfied but he carried on eating. And that’s how you get a great big belly. Just another observation – I reckon that the proportion of obese people inside the café was far greater that the proportion out on the street.