During the row's most recent manifestation Bert accused,
"You're the one whose supposed to have all the emotional intelligence."
I roared back,
"D'ye think if I had any emotional intelligence I'd be acting like this?"Here's what happens. I go to work. I do extra hours. I get tired and I become emotionally drained. I come home. I try to be nice. But I bring an electrically charged aura of tension with me. This unsettles Bert. He becomes defensive. He knows what's coming. We both prickle. We have a row. We shout (mostly me), I cry. He retreats to the male cave place. I feel very sorry for myself. Later I attempt reconciliation. But I really want to winkle him out of the male cave place to row more. He knows this. Stays there. I feel very, very sorry for myself.
The next day dawns. I feel silly. At some point we have a genuine reconciliation.
This is my aim. It's not to never ever have the She Bonkers, He Inconsiderate Bastard row ever again. It's to have longer and longer gaps in between. And if that's the standard then we are making progress.