When Bert first started thinking about fixing up the old house he contacted the Northern Ireland Housing Executive to see if a grant might be feasible. In the event he decided not to apply for it as the Executive were in favour of knocking the old place down and building some soulless little box in its place. Eventually he received a letter from them and when I enquired of its contents he said "Basically they're telling me - either shit or get off the pot. " He got off the pot.
Now we need to sell the house we're living in. We thought we had a buyer but he seems reluctant to commit . The other day Bert said to him.
"Either produce a jobbie or climb off the commode."