...but somebody's got to do it.
Tonight I was the cause of coitus interruptus. I didn't know she was entertaining when I knocked at her door but the way she shouted out "fuck aff!" and the grunting, panting noises coming from within aroused my suspicions. I did my horrid duty demanding entry and found himself, a poor tim'rous cowering beastie, hiding behind the bed. She, on the other hand, was a brazen little madam who told me to mind my own business and, even worse, called me Fuzz Buzz. Must get this hair cut soon.
I couldn't help feeling sorry for her paramour. Firstly for having to find his shoes and do up his jeans, with great difficulty, while I glowered at him and secondly, for being escorted off the premises while her mates jeered at him.