Monday, April 25, 2005

It's A Dirty Oul Job...

...but somebody's got to do it.

Tonight I was the cause of coitus interruptus. I didn't know she was entertaining when I knocked at her door but the way she shouted out "fuck aff!" and the grunting, panting noises coming from within aroused my suspicions. I did my horrid duty demanding entry and found himself, a poor tim'rous cowering beastie, hiding behind the bed. She, on the other hand, was a brazen little madam who told me to mind my own business and, even worse, called me Fuzz Buzz. Must get this hair cut soon.

I couldn't help feeling sorry for her paramour. Firstly for having to find his shoes and do up his jeans, with great difficulty, while I glowered at him and secondly, for being escorted off the premises while her mates jeered at him.

13 comments:

Lost Identity said...

Wow. There's somethin to remember! Ack!

Nelly said...

I'd hate to have to make a habit of it. It's not pleasant having to be a killjoy.

Anonymous said...

Says you. We all know you were waiting outside the door to cause maximum disruption.

My personal approach would have included a bucket of iced water, but then it's not always easy to find one of those on short notice.

Ed

Nelly said...

I hope you're not accusing me of being a sour old hag who lives to spoil the youngun's fun. In fact, among other things, I act as door personnel in this establishment and I don't have the World to call on if things go wrong. Every time I evict one of these chancers I feel a bit scared. I hide my feelings behind the persona of glowering, sour old hag - which is where I came in...

Anonymous said...

"I am not a sour old hag, I just play one on TV" ?

And I dinnae go round accusing people of anything, I just suggest what I'd like to do in a similiar situation. Which is spoil people's fun in as amusing a way as possible. Obviously it's a bonus if the people in question are doing something they shouldn't be, but it's not essential.

Bah. And indeed, humbug.

Ed

Nelly said...

Oh Ed, Ed - I just can't seem to please anyone today. I wasn't accusing you of anything pet - were you accusing me of being a TV? I assure you I am not. I am the genuine article.

Nelly said...

FAO Ed
What is going on over at Gut Rumbles? I don't think he's been 'at himself' recently - it's less than a few weeks ago that I found myself anxiously checking on him every few hours because I thought it sounded like he was thinking of ending it all. There are so many people jabbering at that man it's little wonder his head is turned. Not you of course - your post was cool.

Anonymous said...

Hang on, you actually read enough of the comments to notice I made one? There were over 100 by the time I commented!

I dunno what's happening with Rob. There have been a couple of times I've been clecking regularly too. I think that he'll be back.

(oh, and I'm keeping an eye on his daughter's blog to see if she has anything to say. She likley can judge his mental state better than most)

Ed

Nelly said...

That's a good idea checking his daughter's blog. For someone who
sometimes comes across as being a bit 'ornery Rob is actually an extremely, maybe overly, sensitive person. He bugs me sometimes too (but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing it.)Maybe I'm dense but I can't figure out who or what upset him so much.

Anonymous said...

Some of the comments are a bit suggestive, but I think that's he's just not in the most stable of places at the minute. Since the BC started on him, anyway.

And looking at the size of the cheque he had to sign over to the IRS a couple of weeks ago, I'd be very unstable.

Nelly said...

And of course there was his bereavement which he's probably not even close to starting coming to terms with. Poor sod. If I were him I'd get a new blog and start over for some of those comments freak me out a bit too.

And I know I haven't been paying proper attention - I've not even got round to reading the archives - but does the BC post to him and what does she call herself if she does?

Anonymous said...

I don't think she's ever commented; she's the ex-wife (Quinton's ma), and I think it's fair to say her and Aciddude don't get on very well anymore.

Nelly said...

Aye - I'd gathered that. It's a bad, bad thing when a mother keeps a father from his kid for no reason other than spite. I just emailed him tho' chances are he'll never read it. I just wished him the best. Some of those comments are getting pretty nasty.

Now I must go and do some home wrecking myself - spider's homes. I wouldn't want these damn potential buyers think I do nothing all day but sit on my fat behind blogging.